Just shut the fuck up already.
Just shut the fuck up already.
I don’t usually write ~*cheesy*~ rants like these but I feel like I have to. I have to let it all out. It’s 4:14 in the morning and I’m listening to ‘What Hurts The Most’ by Rascal Flatts. Blame them. Ha ha. So… here goes…
I first fell in love six years ago. He was one of my high school batch mates. He’s very smart and from 1st - 4th year of high school, he belonged in the honors section. Anyway, I loved him but the feeling wasn’t mutual. We were close friends back then. Almost best friends, actually. I’ve told him things that I wouldn’t tell anybody else. And he did too. He told me things he’s never told anybody. We were friends until I became a bitter bitch. I disliked every one of his friends. I was so insecure but I wanted him all to my self. I was selfish. We slowly began to grow apart until him and I just didn’t talk. And that hurt me so much that it damaged me. There was a time when I didn’t stop drinking. There were nights when I cut because I was so mad at myself. And there was one time I did “drugs” (a friend gave them to me) at school. I was stupid, I know. But I just wanted him so bad. I wanted him so fucking bad and until now, even though we still don’t “talk”, I still have feelings for him. I guess that’s just the way it is. First love never dies. And every now and then, I reminisce the good times that we had. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t love him anymore. I just miss him so much. Maybe because it’s been a long time, I don’t know. I just grew up, I guess. We both did. But even though we grew up and grew apart, I will always have feelings for him. Good thing he doesn’t have a Tumblr. He’d just laugh at me for saying these things.
After high school, I met new people, had a few “flings” but last term, I met this guy who made me feel… infatuated/in love/I’m not really sure. All I knew was, every time I see him and every fucking time, he smiles at me, I always get "kilig". I don’t know. He’s just very different from all the other guys that I liked. And my feelings for him were in a way, different too. If that makes any sense. Lol. I think he knew that I liked him but I’m not really sure. My friends said that I was being obvious but whatever. He’s straight so I know I didn’t have a chance. Anyway, he was kind of my inspiration last term. He was so good at what he did and he inspired me to do my best in school. And well, not to brag but, I made it to the dean’s list. The term ended and him and I are still friends. We chat. We text. We Facebook. And sometimes, I see him at school but that’s it. I still like him but not as much as before. Maybe it was just infatuation. IDK.
There’s one more guy but it’s 5 in the morning and I have to sleep. I’ll just save this as draft and continue writing later.
So it’s 1:43 in the afternoon and I just had sinful lunch aka Shakey’s pizza. Ohkaay. Here’s ze continuation…
I met this guy a few months ago and I don’t know I’ve always had a crush on him. I don’t know him very well and we’re not close or anything but I think I kind of like him. IDK. He’s… perfect. Haha! HE IS! He’s tall, and cute, and cute, and cute and did I mention he’s cute?! Ugh. Oh well. He’s too good for me. He’s way out of my league. I want him so bad tho. UGH PERFECTION. Okay, I’m not in the mood to write anymore. Maybe because it’s almost 2 in the afternoon and I’m way too sleepy. Oh well. Ciao.
PS. Ra/cra’c cdibet vun pnaygehk ouin raynd.
(Geeks will get the post script message.)
School started a week ago and, unfortunately, I don’t like most of my subjects and my professors. I don’t even know if I can pass my subjects ‘coz they’re hella hard, especially 2DANIM1 because I’m no good at drawing. The only subject that I think I’m going to enjoy is SONDESN. Ugh.
I don’t like most of the professors that I got this term. They make me want to just stay home instead of attend their classes. FML.
I guess it’s safe to say that I’m not going to enjoy this term at all. :-\ I hope I’m wrong tho. :(
Edit: The only good thing about this term is the fact that one of my crushes is now a Benildean.
That’s what our helper said to me this morning. Why? Because I was up until 8AM. I couldn’t sleep. My body clock’s so fucked up that I sleep after breakfast. I think I need to go back to drinking those sleep pills again. :-\
Anyway, have a good day everyone.
I only have about 3 weeks of summer vacation and of course, I’d like to make the most out of it. I wanna enjoy it by having trips with family and friends. I was supposed to have at least 4 trips this summer… Marinduque, Baguio, Boracay and Bohol. Those aren’t happening anymore.
I didn’t get to go to Marinduque because it was CCD day when my family went. Though I had the choice not to go to school that day, I still did because I wanted to know my grades. Here’s the shittier part… I missed out on the Baguio trip that my friend, Angela, planned and organized. Why? Because my mom and dad had a huge fight. I couldn’t leave my mom so I just told my friend that I couldn’t go. And because my lovely parents had a fight, the Boracay-Bohol plan was also scratched out. FML.
I have less than two weeks of summer left and I just hope my mom and dad patch things up because I want to at least spend one day of my summer vacay out of the house. Anyway… enjoy the rest of the day guys.
Edit: Good thing I have Tumblr and GaGa.
My bad ‘cause I drank too much coffee last night. Fuck. Oh well, the upside is, I get to watch the HBO Monster Ball special! Ha!
I hope I get to fucking sleep right after…
I just finished watching INSIDIOUS. I fucking loved every minute of it. It’s very… American. Haha! What to watch next? I want zombies/badass vampires/really really scary movies. Off to bloody-disgusting.com.
Why do torrents do this to me? Last week, I saw The Roommate at a cinema because a torrent download wasn’t available yet. The day after I saw it, the BDRip leaked. :| Yesterday, I downloaded and watched a crappy PPVRip copy of No Strings Attached. Today, I checked TPB and there it was… a BDRip copy of No Strings Attached. Waaat. Whyyyy? :(
Good thing I didn’t download the TS copy of Insidious because the R5 copy leaked last night! Heehee.
me having quality time with my iPod during my trip to Cavite and seeing Nana for the first time in months.
I even heard my own relatives talking about business shit during the procession.
Mapupunta nga kayo sa langit.